Wednesday, April 23, 2008

This is me on zero caffeine. Counterintuitive, isn't it?

As Charlie and I are driving in the car to get me a coffee, I’m asking him what he did at his friend Riley’s house last night. He proceeds to tell me that he played the video game Lego Star Wars. And he was upset because he couldn’t get to the next level.

“Why is it so hard to get the next level?”

“Because General Gree-V-Oss is really hard to beat Mom. He has TEN WIVES and I only have FOUR WIVES.”

And I’m wondering to myself what in the heck is going on with video games today? Just how do we let these video companies get away with this? This kind of blatant agenda pushing is unacceptable. Did you know that in certain countries they don’t even allow advertisers to target kids at all, at least not until they are over twelve. I should probably write a letter, definitely need to write a letter. I am going to tell them exactly what I think about this. How dare they use such manipulative tactics to push their ideology onto a small child, am I right? Am I right? Polygamy is just plain wrong. Have you seen these compounds, where those poor young girls are forced to marry old men? Does anyone think for a second what it does to these girl’s lives?

Just what’s the message here? Just what are we trying to tell little boys? One wife is never enough. You need to get as many wives as you can?!? Why don’t they just have Ron Jeremy promote their video games, or better yet, put a picture of Luke Skywalker sitting on a throne surrounded by fifteen Princess Leah’s in gold bikinis. The box could read:
Lego Star Wars: Using the force, one sister at a time.

Oh. No. Wait a second. Charlie just asked me yesterday about what marrying someone means. I bet he’s already thinking that one wife isn’t enough. He’s gonna become a Polygamist! I’m going to write a letter, no, I’m going to get an attorney to write the letter! This has to stop. Someone needs to take a stand for once and for all. I bet the people that designed this video game are Mormon. Ah-Ha! You know those Mormons have their hands in a lot of things; they own Coca-Cola for Gods Sake. You can never have just one of those either. Oh boy am I steamed!

“Charlie, Charlie. Why do you care if General Gree-V-Oss has more than one wife? One wife is more than enough. Do you understand? Do you? Honey, talk to me. Daddy only has one wife, and isn’t that nice? Don’t you like having only one mommy? You don’t want five other mommies do you? Charlie? Charlie?”

“Mommy I said General Gree-V-Oss is hard to beat because he has TEN LIVES.”

"Oh...Right."


p.s. The Mormons do not own Coca-Cola as I discovered here.

3 comments:

Card Collector said...

I was getting scared for a moment...I can't even handle the one wife I have.

cognosco said...

I just discovered your blog and this post made me laugh soooo hard. My son is only 14 months old, but I could totally see this kind of conversation happening very soon.

I'm really enjoying reading your posts...

Godless Sunday said...

Thanks so much for that! Hope you keep stopping by. Fourteen months old, such a fun age ;-)