This is Sophie.
About a month ago she chased a bird (or a squirrel) into a cactus. We live in the desert so the succulents are abundant.
My son came running frantically up to the sliding glass door, “Mom! Mom! AMUR-GIN-C!”
And there was my husband walking up the trail with my little pincushion of a puppy.
The vet said: I have never seen this many thorns in one dog before.
My brain said: Shut yo’ ass!
My mouth said: Okay then, well, can you please help her, like, now?
The vet said: I will see what we can do.
My brain said: That’s right nipplefuck! You best see what you can do. Fucking Immediately!
My mouth said: Thank you. I appreciate your help. Do you still take Visa?
She had those vile thorns in her tongue and even in her gums.
It hurt just to hold her, never mind look at her.