Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sold exclusively at Gold's Gym.

Grandpa Alex (aka my dad) came to stay with us over the weekend. Grandpa is a cool cat from South America with a real penchant for barbecue and all things garlic. It’s a non-stop wave of fun from the moment of his arrival to departure, leaving our house imbued with garlic scent and littered with chocolate wrappers. The kids love having him here. I mean what’s not to love? Who wouldn’t enjoy having Ricky Ricardo chase you around the living room for four days while singing some Spanish song about Chocolate and La Cocina as you giggle yourself into oblivion?

And as I sit back and watch this fun loving, sensitive, carefree grandpa engage my offspring in a way that can only be described as adorable. I can’t help but think, who the hell is this guy? Could this be the same man that for YEARS publicly referred to me as Hemo and my brother as Roid? The man who told me not to be such a “candy ass” when I cried because Roid cut the hair off my favorite Barbie Doll?

Seriously, what happens to men as they get older? And does it happen to all men? Because whatever hormone is responsible for this type of increased sensitivity and overall playful kindness needs to be synthetically manufactured and placed in some kind of energy drink sold exclusively at male dominated gyms. We could call it Latino Genome Joy Juice for maximum restoration of neoteny and antidote for macho shit head equilibrium. Because I know there's an old man that’s just dying to get out and go soft on you.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just be grateful he doesn't come over trying to teach them about the bible. Cause nothing, I mean nothing says Par-TAY like a good parable.

womaninawindow said...

OK, so how did how this man of run-about-the-couch create children with with your Jesus loving mother?

Godless Sunday said...

Check it:
The in-laws are MAJOR Jesus people.
My mom is of the NEW AGE variety And my dad is completely secular.

Jay said...

I love it! A drink to make men more sensitive and fun-loving! I think that'd sell well, but you might have to market it to the women. Whether men would buy it for themselves ... uh .. maybe not. Wives and girlfriends, on the other hand, would be buying it up by the case!

Here's a tip, though. You might want to leave the 'neoteny' out of the marketing hype. Most women want their men to grow up a little.

Godless Sunday said...

But their so cute when their playful! Thanks Jay!

Card Collector said...

"Hemo" and "Roid" I think I just found a new nickname for the dogs.

Susiewearsthepants said...

OMG-so true. My dad was a complete hard ass when I was growing up. Now he is much more laid back and fun with my girls. Not fair I tell you. Once he was trying to figure out which child had done some horrible thing and no one would fess up. He tells us he is going to use an old Indian trick to find out who the guilty party was. He took a knife out of his pocket, and then lit a Zippo lighter. He told us that he was going to put the knife on all of our tongues. The child that got burned by the knife was the guilty party. Yep, he was fun alright!

Godless Sunday said...

WOW! I am definitely going to start contributing to your therapy bill.

We SO need to go out and get drunk together.