Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Conversations in the night

So the other night I’m sleeping, well actually, my mind was sleeping. My body was doing its own thing.

My husband who snores LOUDLY is often pushed SLIGHTLY by a very cranky atheist and told, “ROLL OVER.”

This has been our routine for roughly six years now.

Except for last night. When my hand (not being the brain that she is) decided to continuously push thumb against the middle of index finger. And push, and push, and push, until? Ugh!
I woke up. And when my brain woke up it was all, “What the hell are you doing Ms. Handy?”

It appears Ms. Handy thought she was holding onto the remote that would mute my husbands snoring. Poor thing, she was half asleep too, and had the brain not woken up, who knows how long she would have pushed on my index finger thinking it was a remote.


Once I woke up with brain and Ms Handy in a full state of consciousness, I decided to give a quick pep talk. I’m like, “Listen, I know this is annoying for all of us. But, Ms. Handy, in the future please just hand me the pillow, cause honey without the brain, you’re not exactly the crunchiest chip in the bag." She said she understood.

"So, Ms. Handy," I replied. "This is how it's gotta go. You get me up, I get brain up, and THEN we get the pillow out and cover his head. Got it?"

"Well. Why, Ms. Handy, you look so sad. Is it something I said?"

Silence.

"Of course, we’ll still let him breathe!" I rolled my eyes. "Like Dah! Besides. We wouldn't want to wake The General up what, with all the commotion going on. Cause then we’re all screwed. Especially you Ms. Handy. You'll have to do one of your "jobs." If you know what I mean. And I think you do. "So, once again, we operate in silence. Alright? Go Team."

3 comments:

womaninawindow said...

OMG! You are so bad...and funny. Glad you're still around, you, your brain and your hand.

Jay said...

ROFL!! Thanks for the laugh! It might not have been funny at the time, but it is now!! LOL!

cognosco said...

That just made me laugh out loud, by myself, for entirely too long.

How's things on your end of the east valley?